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Goal: To engage the individual and enhance the relationship through respect, trust, and understanding their perspective.

• "How is the project going for you? Tell me about what you enjoyed and what has challenged you."

• "Tell me about the assessment and feedback you've received so far. What has been helpful and what hasn’t?”

• “How do you think you’re doing? What are your strengths and opportunities to improve?”

• “What do you hope to get out of this discussion?”

Goal: To help the individual feel understood and that their views are heard and respected.

• “What are your initial reactions to the feedback? Anything particularly striking?”

• “Did anything in the assessment surprise you? Tell me more about that...”

• “How does this information compare with how you think you are doing? Any surprises?”

• “It can be difficult to hear feedback that doesn't confirm how we see ourselves.”

• "It can be exciting to hear feedback that affirms how we see ourselves."

Goal: For the individual to be clear about what the feedback means for their work and the opportunities identified for change and development.

• “Was there anything in the assessment that didn’t make sense to you?”

• “Anything you’re unclear about?”

• “Let’s go through section by section.”

• “Anything that struck you as something to focus on?”

Goal: For the individual to engage in developing an achievable learning and change plan.

• “What one or two priorities for change does this assessment suggest to you?"

• “What will be your goal?”

• “What actions will you have to take?”

• “What resources do you need?"

• "What support can I provide?"

• “What might get in the way?”

• “Do you think it’s achievable?”

• "The purpose of this feedback discussion is to see where you’re doing well and where we see opportunities for improvement to help you with your learning."
• "I’m curious about how the project has been for you. What did you enjoy? What challenges you?"
• "How do you think you’ve done on this project? What are the areas you feel comfortable in? What would you like to work on?"

If they’ve filled out a self-assessment using the formal format, use that as a point of beginning the discussion about assessment data. For example:

• "Thanks for completing your self-assessment, shall we begin by going through both together and see where we agree and where we differ?"

In addition, for difficult conversations:

• "Some of what I have to say may disappoint you. It may not be what you wish to hear; however, I’m here to help you address it."
• "My role is to support you and help you to be the best you can be."
• "We are going to work together on this."
• "My job is to support you in addressing concerns and planning for improvement."

• "You’re not the first individual to say that, many report feeling concerned about..."
• "You're not the first one to identify that as a stumbling block..."
• "We all tend to feel disappointed (surprised, upset, disbelieving) when we hear feedback that is different form how we think we’re doing."
• "We’re all trying to do our best and it’s tough to hear when we’re not hitting the mark."

• "Can you say more about that?"
• "I'm curious about that, can you tell me more?"
• "That sounds like it was ... difficult, rewarding, etc., can you tell me more?"
• "You said you were surprised by that?"

• "So I'm hearing you say..."
• "I heard you say a couple of things, one is..."
• "So it sounds like ...
  • you’re doing well on this."
  • this was a surprise for you."
  • this was disappointing for you."
  • this is pretty important to you."
  • the feedback confirms your thinking about how you’re doing."
  • we agree on what your goals are for the next project."
  • we agree that this is a difficult topic/area/conversation."

• "Let’s hold on to that and come back to it."
• "Let’s finish this topic before we move on."

• "If I can summarize what I heard you say…"
• "If I can just summarize what we've discussed so far..."
• "Let's summarize this piece before moving on..."
• "Could I ask you to summarize what we’ve discussed? Where we are now?"

Showing interest and respect through:

• open body posture, eye contact, relaxed.
• supportive tone of voice.
• allowing time to respond and for reflection.
• reviewing the assessment report together.